This not driving stuff is a drag. I've got just under 2 weeks of that left, and I'm getting progressively more bored, but soon I think I'll feel strong enough to actually go in to town with Fuzz in the morning and be able to spend time hanging out and get to a meeting or lunch with a friend, blog at starbucks, stuff like that.
I spent 20 minutes walking at a gentle pace (around 3 kph or 2 mph) on my treadmill tonight. After that, my abdominal muscles felt as if they were being pulled up by some invisible puppetmaster. But I was less light headed than I had been after only 10 minutes, 2 days ago. I lay down on the couch with an ice pack on my tum and watched a sitcom, and when that was finished, I rose from the couch with nary a thought for my abs, they were aching that little even if my lower tum's still pretty puffy.
I got Fuzzboy to measure the incision along my bikini (ha!) line last night, it's about 19 cm (7 1/2 inches). Wow, that's long! Pretty respectable, in my humble opinion, that I feel this good 12 days after the hysterectomy.
But then, maybe I have a high pain threshold. I got an e-mail from a friend who I saw at the Saturday OA meeting who said I looked as if I was in some pain, which surprised me. True, I did a fair amount of squirming in my chair, just wasn't able to get completely comfortable and was feeling tentative about pulling something, so I moved gingerly. But I didn't think I was really in pain. Then I remembered that one of the residents in the hospital said to me I seemed to have a fairly high pain tolerance because I wasn't using much of my morphine pump. Compare the discomfort to some painful cramps I've suffered and that was a walk in the park!
I've read somewhere that addicts have a low tolerance for discomfort. I disagree with that. Some forms of discomfort, like physical pain and crazy behaviour in our families, we are too tolerant of for our own good, particularly women. But I think we are then vulnerable to overload and that's where we vent or seek comfort in manipulation of our eating.
Binge eating is much more socially acceptable than binge drinking, right? I was damned if I was going to be a drunk like my dad, but the other day it struck me that in my parents' home, the candy was kept in the same cabinet as the liquor!
3 comments:
yeah binge eating is more socially acceptable, but only if you're bulimic. god forbid you get fat! Then you've committed the ultimate sin...I think we are a little less tolerant of discomfort, it just comes out differently. Perhaps out isn't the right word lol. :)
I definitely think that addicts have a high pain threshold (at least it's true for me). I had a lightbulb moment when I read about how your parents kept the candy in the same cabinet as the liquor. I was raised in a Christian home and remember when I was 12/13 I found a bottle of wine hidden behind the radio. My parents said they drank it for medicinal purposes but I'm not sure why they hid it. Some taboo, I'm sure (which I don't get because Jesus turned water into wine at a wedding). I'm sure my parents hid food too. The "aha" moment I got from your blog was the symbolism between the hidden wine and my tendancy to hide things. I'm morbidly obese but think I'm hiding my issues from people. Like hiding in plain sight. Sorry to ramble but your post really clicked for me. Thanks!
That is one big incision you've got there! Will it leave a scar forever?
Sounds like you're doing quite well for someone who's just had an operation. I'd probably be screaming in pain the whole time; I definitely have a low tolerance for pain (ps: I'm a candy addict).
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