For years, food has been my life. Love food, love cooking, love expressing my love for others through food. I've even worked as a sous-chef and volunteered in a soup kitchen. Then I realized that if I didn't change things I was going to die sooner rather than later, and likely not in a pleasant manner, developing hypertension and diabetes at age 36.
Fast forward nine years. Right now the food feels manageable. I've got so many good support systems in place, it is working: a plan of eating that is sane, nutritious and not punitive. A support group of people who I meet regularly at OA meetings and socially. A regular routine of exercise. A small group I run with twice weekly. A weekly therapy session. Support of family and friends. So the food is good. For the first time in my life it feels fairly sane.
But I'm at a new stage in my battle with the food. I've been a stable weight right now for a little over two years, and that initial euphoria of losing all that weight has faded. I've struggled with depression since I was in my late teens. And right now, it's the rest of my life that feels unmanageable. Last week I was very depressed, and it felt like it was impossible for me to get my life together, to do for that part of my life what has happened with my food.
This week I have a little more perspective: The other parts of my life are not as out of whack as my eating was. So I may be struggling with handling money, interpersonal relationships, and my career, but face it, who doesn't??? I've got to take it slowly, not keep heaping coals upon my head. It's not as if the rest of it fell apart when I got the food under control, it was always this way.
So, this is what life is when the food sits in its proper place.
28.11.06
27.11.06
I Wouldn'ta Believed It if I Hadn't Eatit...
Is anyone like me and a big fan of the comic strip Pearls Before Swine? I just love those pidgin english speaking crocodiles who just can't help it, their nature is to eat zebras, and their fraternity (Zeeba Zeeba Eeta) is located in a nice suburban neighbourhood in a bungalow right next to a zebra. Maybe they need a 12 step programme... "Hi, me name Larry and me lika eating deelishus zeebas"... Needless to say I feel a certain affinity for them...
Anyway, on the roasted vegetable front, I was next store at BF's house last night and we were doing one of those very informal potluck things where we go, ok, I've got a bit of this and that in the fridge and if you have some of this, so we ended up with 2 different frozen pizzas, some soy-mushroom burgers, and carmelized cauliflower and turnip fries.
Yes. Turnip Fries (ok, rutabega actually, but in my end of Canada we rarely see white turnip and so the yellow fleshed purple skinned rutabega is called turnip here). I know, it sounds gross, but they were really tasty. BF hates turnip and A while back, when I discovered carmelized cauliflower via Orangette's blog (see my links list I'm too lazy to do it) I realized that if you sliced almost any vegetable fairly thinly, tossed it with some coarse or sea salt and olive oil and roasted it in a hot oven (400 to 450 F) until it had some brown and crispy bits it would taste great. Watch it closely after 10 minutes if it's the first time you've tried this with a particular veg, and some vegetables, like sweet potatoes have a lot of sugar, and thus quicker browning.
So...BF had this turnip literally rolling around her kitchen after a very, very, long visit from her mother. And the damn thing was starting to sprout and it was bugging her. She peeled it, and cut it up into french fry size, sprayed it very generously with her nonstick spray (in my books it's the same as tossing with a little oil if you spray for more than 10 seconds!) and sprinkled on some of that Herbemare seasoned sea salt. Then baked it on cookie sheet until it was tender and had lots of browned parts like a dark fry. Amazing. In fact, I'm going to try it tonight when I roast a duck I bought on Saturday, as the duck takes a high heat too. Yum.
Anyway, on the roasted vegetable front, I was next store at BF's house last night and we were doing one of those very informal potluck things where we go, ok, I've got a bit of this and that in the fridge and if you have some of this, so we ended up with 2 different frozen pizzas, some soy-mushroom burgers, and carmelized cauliflower and turnip fries.
Yes. Turnip Fries (ok, rutabega actually, but in my end of Canada we rarely see white turnip and so the yellow fleshed purple skinned rutabega is called turnip here). I know, it sounds gross, but they were really tasty. BF hates turnip and A while back, when I discovered carmelized cauliflower via Orangette's blog (see my links list I'm too lazy to do it) I realized that if you sliced almost any vegetable fairly thinly, tossed it with some coarse or sea salt and olive oil and roasted it in a hot oven (400 to 450 F) until it had some brown and crispy bits it would taste great. Watch it closely after 10 minutes if it's the first time you've tried this with a particular veg, and some vegetables, like sweet potatoes have a lot of sugar, and thus quicker browning.
So...BF had this turnip literally rolling around her kitchen after a very, very, long visit from her mother. And the damn thing was starting to sprout and it was bugging her. She peeled it, and cut it up into french fry size, sprayed it very generously with her nonstick spray (in my books it's the same as tossing with a little oil if you spray for more than 10 seconds!) and sprinkled on some of that Herbemare seasoned sea salt. Then baked it on cookie sheet until it was tender and had lots of browned parts like a dark fry. Amazing. In fact, I'm going to try it tonight when I roast a duck I bought on Saturday, as the duck takes a high heat too. Yum.
10.11.06
Roastavegetapaloosa!
Ok, in contrast to the last very serious post, here's something light and fun.
Earlier this week I realized I needed to do something with all the root vegetables and squash heaped in a corner of my kitchen and in my fridge crisper. Sometimes I get overambitious in the organic vegetable aisle, probably because this time of year a lot of the winter vegetables look really good. And I am sick of salads, too cold for salad, I want good, sturdy cooked vegetables. But then you get them home and get busy with something else and you suddenly realize that many of these lovely vegetables are starting to look a little funky and if you don't move soon, all that will benefit from your good intentions will be the compost pile.
So three nights ago, I rummaged around and gathered up these errant veg: a butternut squash that was developing a soft spot, a rutabega, half a celeriac (celery root, tastes like celery minus the strings), a purple kohlrabi (taste a lot like broccoli stems), some really big old carrots, and an onion. I took the whole lot and peeled (and peeled and peeled) and chopped them into half inch cubes or sticks. I heated the oven to 400 degrees F, oiled two large cookie sheets with about a Tb of olive oil each and a tsp of kosher salt sprinkled over each and rolled the vegetables around in the oil and salt and then stuck them in the oven. Now, these vegetables don't all cook the same. The sweet squash became pretty mashingly soft very quickly, but it took a good part of 40 minutes for the rutabega and kohlrabi to be tender crisp. I stirred and flipped the veg around with a big spatula a couple of times and kept my eye on it to make sure the browning didn't go overboard. I purposely wanted a few browned bits that added some interesting carmelization to the taste. Some of it's very sweet, some not so sweet. When cool, I dumped the leftovers into a big plastic container to store in the fridge. We've been living off them for the last few days --- I had a couple of poached eggs on toast for lunch today with a side dish of those roasted vegetables on the side, and they tasted so good just cold straight from the fridge I had to force myself to heat a bowlful up in the microwave. Last night was a salmon and broccoli stir fry served over noodles and some of those roasted vegetables added in near the end for interest.
If we don't eat them all up in the next day or two, I think they will make a great pureed soup after some more cooking in chicken stock, maybe with some curry paste added or grated cheese on top.
I love it when I can do stuff with food that's good for you. Having tasty, ready to eat veg in the fridge is like having giftcard burning a hole in my wallet!
Earlier this week I realized I needed to do something with all the root vegetables and squash heaped in a corner of my kitchen and in my fridge crisper. Sometimes I get overambitious in the organic vegetable aisle, probably because this time of year a lot of the winter vegetables look really good. And I am sick of salads, too cold for salad, I want good, sturdy cooked vegetables. But then you get them home and get busy with something else and you suddenly realize that many of these lovely vegetables are starting to look a little funky and if you don't move soon, all that will benefit from your good intentions will be the compost pile.
So three nights ago, I rummaged around and gathered up these errant veg: a butternut squash that was developing a soft spot, a rutabega, half a celeriac (celery root, tastes like celery minus the strings), a purple kohlrabi (taste a lot like broccoli stems), some really big old carrots, and an onion. I took the whole lot and peeled (and peeled and peeled) and chopped them into half inch cubes or sticks. I heated the oven to 400 degrees F, oiled two large cookie sheets with about a Tb of olive oil each and a tsp of kosher salt sprinkled over each and rolled the vegetables around in the oil and salt and then stuck them in the oven. Now, these vegetables don't all cook the same. The sweet squash became pretty mashingly soft very quickly, but it took a good part of 40 minutes for the rutabega and kohlrabi to be tender crisp. I stirred and flipped the veg around with a big spatula a couple of times and kept my eye on it to make sure the browning didn't go overboard. I purposely wanted a few browned bits that added some interesting carmelization to the taste. Some of it's very sweet, some not so sweet. When cool, I dumped the leftovers into a big plastic container to store in the fridge. We've been living off them for the last few days --- I had a couple of poached eggs on toast for lunch today with a side dish of those roasted vegetables on the side, and they tasted so good just cold straight from the fridge I had to force myself to heat a bowlful up in the microwave. Last night was a salmon and broccoli stir fry served over noodles and some of those roasted vegetables added in near the end for interest.
If we don't eat them all up in the next day or two, I think they will make a great pureed soup after some more cooking in chicken stock, maybe with some curry paste added or grated cheese on top.
I love it when I can do stuff with food that's good for you. Having tasty, ready to eat veg in the fridge is like having giftcard burning a hole in my wallet!
Blessed by the UPS
I was lying in bed early this morning feeling ambushed and overwhelmed by all the "had to do"'s for today, feeling utterly ashamed of how paralysed I felt. So I went back to sleep because I didn't feel able to cope. Blessed unconsciousness.
But then I remembered that I was expecting the UPS guy. So I got up, and I've been sitting around the house for the past 4 hours waiting for him. Mind you, if the UPS guy wasn't coming (I didn't actually expect the order to come this soon) I might just be sitting around anyway, but feeling worse about it. I'm really struggling with a depressed mood the last few weeks. This way, at least I'm doing something useful when I sit around. Actually, I'm doing some other stuff too. I'm writing something for a talk I'm supposed to be giving tomorrow. I've had a healthy breakfast and lunch. Somedays the blessings seem small, but I have to try to count them.
Having to stick around the house lowered the bar for me today. I'm not feeling totally paralysed and useless.
Do one thing at a time. Don't overplan. I keep telling myself, but somehow it just gets added to the coals that I heap upon my head. Life in my head is tough right now; all those coals aren't that easy to bear. Sometimes I'm ok, sometimes I'm not. But I'm still here.
But then I remembered that I was expecting the UPS guy. So I got up, and I've been sitting around the house for the past 4 hours waiting for him. Mind you, if the UPS guy wasn't coming (I didn't actually expect the order to come this soon) I might just be sitting around anyway, but feeling worse about it. I'm really struggling with a depressed mood the last few weeks. This way, at least I'm doing something useful when I sit around. Actually, I'm doing some other stuff too. I'm writing something for a talk I'm supposed to be giving tomorrow. I've had a healthy breakfast and lunch. Somedays the blessings seem small, but I have to try to count them.
Having to stick around the house lowered the bar for me today. I'm not feeling totally paralysed and useless.
Do one thing at a time. Don't overplan. I keep telling myself, but somehow it just gets added to the coals that I heap upon my head. Life in my head is tough right now; all those coals aren't that easy to bear. Sometimes I'm ok, sometimes I'm not. But I'm still here.
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