At a meeting the other day, a friend who has been in the OA program a while said that she has been aware for a long time that when she is feeling negative about herself, she tends to get mysteriously hungry. That statement in itself was a "DUH" comment for those of us who have been pondering our compulsion to binge or just nibble continuously.
The really interesting thing was that she followed that observation up with noting recently that those negative self-thoughts surface whenever she is watching tv. She is a very active woman and no couch potato and even while watching tv she's doing something else. But still, after a while she sees the negative thoughts appear.
What is it about tv that does it? Is it the passivity of opening up your head and letting all those quick processed images in? Is it the physically perfect people with issues that normally are solved neatly within the confines of 40 minutes? Does a diet of PBS make you feel better, like a tossed salad for the brain? Is what we choose to watch on tv as indicative of our problems as our eating habits?
I know that the longer I avoid dealing with my feelings, the harder my life becomes, and the more tempting the food looks. I wonder if perhaps when I choose to spend time watching tv, I'm in the midst of trying to squash discomfort or anxiety (like I've done most of my life), and it backfires. Maybe not right away, but it adds up. It takes a real conscious effort to counteract this, and when I begin doing it, it's tough. It takes several attempts. Seriously. Several attempts. I have to remember that. The practice of a lifetime takes, well, a lifetime.
No comments:
Post a Comment