Damn, The Sponsor was Right AGAIN

I've been in OA now for over 3 years and I've just recently started sponsoring in the last month. My sponsor has been encouraging me to sponsor for ages, but I've been either too wrapped up in my own recovery or just plain afraid of sponsoring. Growing up in a family where I was trained to sacrifice my needs for my parents disfunction, for the longest time I just didn't feel able to be a healthy sponsor rather than an enabler or a martyr. Just when all the poo hit the fan with buying and selling a house, so I'm still not the most active sponsor in the world, and I'm taking a tip from my sponsor and letting my "sponsees" call me, do the footwork in their recovery by reaching out to their sponsor.

Right now I don't have time to chase them down. If they want me, they know where to find me. One of the two has just dropped off the face of the earth, but she's a big NHL hockey fan, and it's playoff season, so I figure she'll resurface in a few weeks.

The other one I've been playing phone tag with. The relationship is complicated by the fact that I can often be found going to bed only slightly earlier than she usually rises, but the other morning she finally got me at home and awake. My sponsor has always said to me that her sponsees often gave her more than she gave them, at which I would usually go "huh?", but I found that happening on Tuesday morning.

My sponsee is pumped, she wants to work the program. She's sick and tired of being sick and tired. Lookout, she's on a roll, get out of her way. Here I was half awake, having spent half the night rattling around the house packing, tidying, pitching and completely obsessed with house, house, house. I was also feeling pretty low that night, pessimism rising.

She brought me down to earth, reminded me of where I was and how important these new habits of living are to my present happiness. She also reminded my how little program work I've been doing. I was telling myself that because my food was quiet (Hell, I was so busy, I was forgetting to eat my programmed snacks, always a shock for me to realize), I was fine. If you read my posts regularly, you will have noticed how little I've been blogging. Ditto with the reading of OA literature and attending meetings. They are all part of my lifeline, what keeps me plugged into health, rather than disfunction and misery.

Ok, ok, uncle uncle! I hear ya! Time to put some balance back. Do the things that make me feel better. Hit a meeting yesterday, and will do another tomorrow and lunch with a fellow sufferer who's struggling. Then back to the unending house crap. Did I say I'm glad we're moving into a smaller house? Much more manageable, and forces me to let go of the China Cabinet of Doom!