I had a dust up with a bunch of cookies Fuzz's mom cooked last night. I had a couple too many, and in retrospect I should have come up with a number which Fuzz and I agreed was good --- him being my biggest support and fan --- and stuck to it. But I only ate 2 more than I think I should have. Not a big issue. The bigger problem was the damn gumdrop cake she insisted on sending home with us. It sits glowering in the freezer. It would be under the bird feeder feeding the squirrels right now if Fuzz didn't like it so much. My plan is to let it sit there for 2 weeks and then send it to work with him.
I just dodged a bullet an hour ago: I had tentatively planned to join BF for lunch but then I found out it was a buffet. And it wasn't going to be just us, some of BF's family were coming and it just sounded like a recipe for overeating. Amazingly I was able to say, no, sorry, I have a hard time with buffets. So now I'm off the hook, which feels better. But boy, it's hard to just stop and say no when confronted with hard food situations.
Part of it is the difficulty in remembering that I am someone who has problems with food, who is constantly compelled to eat too much. That's where the steps come in, constantly reminding me that I'm powerless over the food, one of those "Duh, oh yeah, compulsive overeater, forgot that!" moments.
And I've told my mother in law this, and still she offers me food. Well, I guess if I forget, then she can too. We don't want to remember this, it means I'm different, and food becomes a dangerous substance. Who wouldn't want to forget that?
Oops, gotta go for my group therapy session. Not a barrel of laughs although some days it is.
Day 51 since a binge.
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