Yesterday I saw my doctor and went over the admission form for residential treatment at Homewood Health Care . I'm a bit stunned that I can actually go. A couple of days before that, Fuzz called our insurance company and they readily agreed that I was covered for a semi-private (what a euphemism for shared) room. I expected much more of a fight from them but they didn't bat an eye. Now, depending on how long a wait there is for treatment (I don't believe it is long), I can expect to leave sometime in the next few months for a 2 month stay.
Surprisingly, I'm not going for eating disorder treatment. I'm going to be treated for trauma. After some consideration and discussion with friends in OA and my addictions therapy group, my therapist and gp, I decided to try the trauma treatment. I never considered my life experiences particularly traumatic, but as someone in my therapy group said, growing up in an alcoholic family is traumatic enough.
Ironically, I'm feeling hungry right now. Actually, I've felt that way for the last couple of days. I have to go downtown and do some banking, and then I have to call my shrink. Oh joy, oh bliss. I've been out of my routine with the studio, I haven't been there since last Thursday for one reason or another. I wonder if that has something to do with the hunger? I feel guilty and restless. Irritable and discontent aren't far behind.
Alright alright. Gotta get my butt out of bed and the jammies and put one foot in front of the other. And then I get the reward of lunch, and after I finish with the shrink I get to go to the studio. Some days I have to use the food as a carrot. Going to the studio, I get my mid afternoon snack of almonds (single serving size package, it's safer) and a fruit. After we run tonight we get supper. I am still obsessed with food, but some days its a useful tool.
Day 35 since a binge.
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