Ok, I like good old rutabagas a lot, raw, cut up in sticks, oven roast with a little oil and kosher salt, cooked in stews, and in the old standby mashes with potatoes, butternut squash and a touch of brown sugar and butter. But succulent? Just not what I'd call it.
Heavens knows, restaurant menus do that sort of hyperbole all the time, and research has shown that when people are given those type of over the top descriptors of vegetables, they will eat and enjoy it more. As much as I smirk, maybe I should try it on Fuzz. He's not so fond of rutabagas, but if I hide it in something, like a good stew, he doesn't object at all. I blame whoever called it rutabaga. Turnip (which much of us call them anyway, because it's simpler to say than "rooot-a-beggah", even if it is a misnomer) isn't much better. It just sounds ugly, doesn't it?
I made a conscious choice last night to have a veggie dinner because of my cheese hangover. Dinner at the BF's house the night before was takeout pizza from the joint around the corner, which is the most cheese laden one I've ever had. Luscious but as BF's partner calls it, a real "gut bomb" afterward. But still, I was compelled to steal pretzels from the kids afterward. What is it about a really rich meal that fills me up and yet makes me want to keep on eating afterward? Then brunch yesterday and I inadvertently ordered a meal that was mostly cheese again. By then I felt like I'd eaten an anvil. My tummy is so iffy I think I might have a bug and I think I pulled something around my scapula at the gym. So dinner needed to be something that felt really healthy. Spicy curried lentils with sweet potatoes and spinach on basmati really filled the bill. With a side order of robaxacet...
I discussed the gut bomb and other "gnawing" issues this morning with my OA food buddy. She had had one of those weekends with socializing that made her eat a little more food than she was comfortable with, and she felt a bit hung over on things like some extra wine and gossip that made her generally feel unwell. Socializing is such a minefield for us compulsive eaters. Why???
Well, I think my social anxiety is a big part of it, and that makes me eat more and be less aware of what and how much I'm eating. Eating in restaurants is usually where portion magnification happens, or when you eat at another's house or at a potluck, we bring and eat more food than we normally eat because we want to be generous and celebrate with a bounteous feast. Food and celebrations have been around forever, but I think we nibble or sip more than ever. Travel cups of coffee or bottles of water are ubiquitous: while we're driving, shopping, coffee time after the church service, the water bottle in the gym, everywhere! It's gotten to the point where we have to ask just when are we not putting something in our mouths?
I am particularly to blame about coffee. It's usually at least half decaf, but a coffee cup or travel mug is usually to hand, even while I'm working in the studio. I had a prof who used to yell at me for putting the handle of my paint brush in my mouth when I was thinking or needed to put it somewhere. Very Bad Habit, because it makes it more likely that I'll ingest small amounts of paint. Maybe I should consider the same thing about the coffee cup.
I guess it's good that we're more aware of our eating patterns. Now the question is, do I need to change anything about it?
Day 33 since a binge. I hate writing and the phone (my expression is like that of someone given some of that nasty Buckley's cough syrup) but that, in conjunction with regular meetings with my sponsor (not so nasty) are helping. I think. Damned if I know exactly what is, the feelings are that divorced from my actions, but that is all I can pin it down to. If you've read this stuff, you can see it's not exactly deep revelations, but whatever it is, it seems to be keeping me present on some level.
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