Ironies Abound

Of course, after writing that I had to write in order to survive, I didn't do it for four days! The perfectionist in me wants to don the hair shirt, but I'll stifle that. It's just life.

I had a really busy day on Monday teaching the art classes, and then was out the door early Tuesday for my dental appointment. Yesterday, I had to get at it fairly quickly to do what I had to do, making photocopies and working out at the Y, as a big storm bared down on us and I was wondering if we would even have power later in the day. The power held, and in the evening I was on deck for our community choir post-concert debrief/coffee house. I ended up MC-ing and also helped to provide a suitable ambience through several living room lamps and a few dozen votive candles that turned the cavernous church hall into a cozy cafe. The individual talents in our choir that we don't get to see most of the time is truly amazing... Plus I had a lot of paperwork to distribute and collect for the debrief. I really did A LOT last night. Next year it might be a little different. No, next year it WILL be a little different. I'll leave the paperwork for someone else. And work on the ambient lighting more. I liked the mood. I enjoy hosting the party, particularly because it's not at my house!

The teaching on Monday, eeehhhhh... it wasn't so much fun. Nothing bad happened. We had some kids that needed reining in during the afternoon session, but their teacher arrived and she basically sat on them. I don't know. It is something I am slowly digesting. I was surprised at the student's lack of skill in some respects, but I guess that was bound to happen. I've spent a lot of time in an ivory tower, and so to see what kids are doing (more like aren't doing) in schools where the arts have been really given short shrift was a bit of a shock. I would like to work with small groups (ie 6 kids) on the finer points of art, but I'm not sure that is going to happen. I can talk with my friend the organizer when she returns from a trip. But not another large group. Too much crowd control while I'm trying to give them an intensive dose of art.

Too much activity, too little thought. Now I'm talking about me. I watch my mood slowly sour when I do this. Plus my sponsor has been away in Mexico, so I'm missing our weekly talks... And my sponsee has been sick so I didn't see her either. Yow! I'm in a dangerous place here! I'm amazed that my food hasn't been worse than it has been. If I don't change something, I'm going to crash.

How has the food been? Not too bad, but I'm still struggling with the nibblies. Nightime nibblies, a bit of ham or a few strands of the spaghetti I'm putting in the fridge in after dinner cleanup. And it bugs me. I would like to be about 5 pounds less so my size 8s are more comfortable, and I've seen the nibbling as the best place to make a change in my behaviour. And yet I haven't really committed to changing that, ie putting it as part of my abstinence definition. I guess I wonder if I'm becoming too much of a weight control monk. How big an issue is this? I'm not sure. It's hard not to be too much of a nazi about this. I'm also wondering if I need to weigh and measure more. Again, it's a question of degree with this.

Or do I just need to keep a more conscious contact with my higher power and let the food fall where it may? Will the obsession be lifted from me? I know I'm powerless over the food, but where does my higher power want me to go with this? I think I need to do some more reading, listening, and talking with my fellow sufferers on this point.

Interesting that while I often collapse on the couch in the late evening and I think of myself as a night owl I rarely write at that time. Just now I think that before making any big changes in my food plan I should write down what I have been eating. When I'm aware of what I've been doing, maybe I can see more clearly if & where changes could be made. Ok, that I can commit to. Write it down for a week.

In other parts of my life, I'm working on Photoshopping some of my photos for a new painting. However, learning to use the program I've selected is often like, well, picking up my laptop and whacking myself on the forehead with it! It took an hour of playing around to simply stitch a couple of background shots together. (One of the less successful attempts can be seen to the left...)

Hm. Since there is such nice light today, I could try taking some more reference shots. I have a rather ambitious plan for one, but I'm not sure that I'm not biting off a little more than I can chew here....akkk, always the food!!!!