February 27, 2003

I was updating the header for this blog because it's been another year and I had to recalculate how long it's been since I've been granted entrance to the world of thin people. I had to check my journal entry to see what it really was , and it was February 27th 2003 that my therapist gave me an ultimatum that either I give OA another try (1st time didn't really take) or she wasn't sure what else she could do for me. So it was March 2003 when I got scared back into the rooms, and thankfully, it took. Several months after that I started "passing" as a thin person.

I say passing, because my head still slips into fat thinking. "Fathead" takes on a whole new meaning in my world. But right now, I'm celebrating the longest period I've ever had of physical thinness, and that in itself is an example of thin thinking. I'm taking stock and giving myself a pat on the back. These four plus years in Overeaters Anonymous have not been without their problems, and right now I have just under two weeks having gone without a binge, but I am in a very good place still.

Last night, I was telling Fuzz about the concept of spiritual fitness, a catchphrase you see in the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book. And he asked how mine was. And I had to make an evaluation of mine. What I started to do was listing off all the things I do to help that, and I listed the two OA meetings a week I regularly hit, my therapist, my group therapy group, and my OA friends. I basically listed my support system. But did I answer the question? Then I went on to say that I don't usually notice how my life has improved until I actually list it on paper or relate to someone. So that's why I'm here. Please God, let me stay.