American Thanksgiving (which is what we call this day up here in Canada) is accompanied by a storm of articles about how to celebrate it, the usual turkey tips, and navel gazing that comes at a holiday celebrated in the middle of a particularly blah month. Canadian Thanksgiving is long gone by now, celebrated last month, back when it felt like fall. Now it just feels like winter, and to make its point, we've got freezing rain and ice pellets. I'm glad they're feeling thankful to the south, but I'm not so much up here today.
To make me feel better, it seems like the New York Times crafted an article about writing one's gratitude down, in a journal. Seems there is some research out there that says they can make you happier, over the long term. Unfortunately, the article ends by listing how grateful a friend of the author was for her Thanksgiving feast's creamed onions! However, it's just to point out that even the most mundane thing (boiled onions with cream cheese) can make one feel grateful. It's just that that example ain't the greatest one for someone who has food issues!
Gratitude journals often come up in my OA meetings. Some people swear by them as ways to combat "stinkin' thinkin" that can lead to disordered eating. I'm not such a big user of them, but occasionally they do help with a day when I'm feeling sour, or, even more toxic: useless.
Excepting the massively egotistical, I don't think there are any of us who don't at some point wonder if our existence is really making a difference, who don't feel like some insignificant pixel on the Google Earth photo. That's part of being one of billions of humans, by definition it is hard to think of something that distinguishes from our fellows. A humdrum gratitude list, well, it doesn't make one feel all that special, but maybe, as the article points out, there are some unique things that can make one feel particularly grateful. So, what have I got?
Well, I'm grateful that Marie and her 9 year old daughter have invited me to go out to lunch with them.
I'm grateful that even with the occasional fractiousness, my choir still can make a beautiful noise together.
I'm grateful that I have a large cat that likes to snuggle up to the back of my knees in bed, only occasionally cutting off all sensation, and another that is known to abscond with anything made out of fur, suede or even fake fur or hair. He has been seen trying to escape with Hallowe'en clown wigs twice his size. I am my quirky cats and they are me.
I'm glad that I've got some excellent, and easy vegetable recipes. Honest. Try these two I've found on Orangette: Worlds Best Braised Cabbage and Carmelized Cauliflower. You won't believe how much of these vegetables you will eat, and you can also easily reduce the amount of olive oil in each by at least half.
I love my scooter. Even if at the present moment it is coated in ice. I also love to bits the brand new white and faux leopardskin leather jacket I found at NewEnough.com, a great online store with deeply discounted motorcycle gear.
I love my running group. They keep me going out there even on days like this afternoon at 6, when, unless the roads are completely impassable, I will be out running with them. I am also deeply grateful for our coach who has taught us a low stress running technique that we can even use on ice.
I am so grateful for how tired yet pumped I feel after a run on a particularly pukey day. I really do feel like a road warrior. That's why idiots like me are doing it when you are staring at us from the car wondering why why why?
I'm grateful for my studio. The building is rundown but it's warm and it has fairly good north light, and I've got a good stereo with some excellent Canadian Broadcasting Co. radio (our version of NPR) and a coffee maker in there.
Holy crap, almost time for lunch! I'm grateful when a mealtime surprises me. Something must be working. I must come across as the world's biggest Pollyanna at times about this whole food thing, but the truth is, there are times when this new life works seemingly without effort. That being said, I would really be happier if I were five less pounds, but I think that for the time being, I just have to keep doing this and see if it works. I know one thing, for the last month I haven't gained any weight, and that alone is quite amazing considering how the rest of my life went.
By the way, this is day 23 of no binge eating.
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