Fatgrrl's Back and There's Gonna Be Laundry

Back from a long weekend in NYC with BFF! What a great weekend! Despite fears of Papal traffic issues--- I didn't know that the Pope was visiting that same weekend, or I might have made reservations for a different weekend --- we had no issues with the dreaded "frozen zones" and enjoyed lovely weather for our visit to stores (oh so many more than we had planned), museums (The Met, the Morgan and the Neue Galerie) Central Park and a stroll over the Brooklyn bridge, avoiding being whacked by telephoto-wielding tourists and Italian MTV hacks for a pilgrimage to my favorite restaurant: Grimaldi's. Yes, deafening, no reservations, no plastic, waiters that act like they work for the Russian mob, having to sit half an inch from the table next to you, that Grimaldi's. I guess there's no better proof that I'm still obsessed with food if I still do all that for the perfect slice.

Travelling and food is always a challenge. You can't get what you usually eat, so you improvise, with mixed results. We did have a kitchenette in our hotel room this trip which was worth it because we could make our own toast and coffee in the mornings and keep fruit, carrots and cheese, which at least one of our meals consisted mainly of, supplemented by local bagels. But when we did eat out, we didn't always make the best choices, not so much by ordering the wrong stuff, after all we actually ate at Whole Foods--- twice! But even though we were good about getting our veggies, I think we still had some portion inflation trouble. Nothing huge, but when my eating gremlin gets a little extra food, it just wants the party to keep going.

So, now I'm home, and I have to get some groceries because there's not much in the fruit and veg department in the house. Not to mention skim milk. I've had an abstinent lunch, a bagel, some cheese and turnip sticks and a couple of Tb of roasted sunflower seeds. But my demon wants more. It's a challenge, and Fuzz is taking off himself for a few days for a conference, so I'll be alone with my demon. Well, I don't have to be. In fact, the next few days are fairly busy in the evenings, with my running group, an OA meeting, choir rehearsal, more running, and a board meeting. So, my job is to get enough vegetables for nutritious meals, and deal with life rather than eating over it.

Because the food is often just a tool of obliteration. It's my method of self-soothing, or smothering my fear and anxiety. One thing I have to do is be vigilant about this technique which can so easily go awry. One simple technique is to replace the old old habit of bedtime eating with a hot beverage before bed. I've found a big cup of decaf chai gives me a comforting satiety but is not eating as such. And because it's not eating, it doesn't quite feel as satisfying, but it's better for me, and by continuing the habit, it becomes more permanent and replaces the less safe behaviour.