Skinless

I felt very raw yesterday, as if I had no skin, and every activity felt like I was getting a pin stuck into me. The day didn't go all that well initially, involving some plumbing problems that ended with water coming through the light fixtures on the floor below. Shit happens, and plumbing follows. At least the flood was clean water. As a result, my plans for the afternoon did go pretty much awry, but at least I got an hour and a half in the studio. Then there was choir practice, and I felt raw again, because there were issues that as a board member I got stuck in the middle of. Or rather, perhaps I stuck myself in the middle. There are many board members, but I think I made it my responsibility to deal with some issues, and then I felt overtaxed.

Oh well, at least I got reimbursed for some expenditures I had made, that should help with the plumbing expenses. But by the time I got home last night, I felt wilted, bagged. And I ate a big heaping bowl of coleslaw. Lowfat coleslaw, but just the same, an odd choice for 10 pm. Then I had my regular chocolate and decaf, and I felt full, and sheepish, but I had to admit, I still felt just like one big raw nerve. I comforted myself a bit by wimpering pitifully and leaning on Fuzz's back while he brushed his teeth, making comforting sounds, and that felt better. It would be good if I just did that first, without the food being my first port of call.

I'm still thinking about that whole victim thing, particularly as I publish these cartoons about my earlier life. I don't know where this is going, but I know I feel overly responsible for things.

It's a beautiful spring day outside, and I think I'll go downtown to do some errands before a therapy appointment and going to the studio, maybe treat myself to a sandwich there at the same time. Getting outside may get myself out of my head. Speaking of which, here's another random memory from my kidhood...