Maybe there is something to my doctor and therapist's suspicion that I may suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder. During my checkup on Monday I realized I'm sleeping much less than a month ago and didn't feel nearly as sluggy as in March and February. I have a feeling I'll be trying one of those light therapy boxes next winter.
Tonight (it's coming on 5 am as I type this) I've got the opposite problem, sleeplessness. Major stress going on right now as we are trying to negotiate a private sale on a house. It's kind of small and needs some cosmetic work, and the basement, hooboy, don't get me started, but I love the location. Suddenly all our moving, selling and buying plans are notched up about 5 clicks. As Fuzz pointed out, it's much easier to be motivated when you have an concrete object in sight. About a million things could cause this to fall through, but it's a trip we've gotta try, sleepless night or not.
Let's see, today I have to investigate a storage locker and ugh, phone the bank for a talk about financing. Big fear around that last one, but Fuzz is up to his eyeballs in work, and this is something I can do. Fuzz is hilarious, he's absorbed enough of this "higher power" stuff from my work with Overeaters Anonymous to get it, he keeps saying, "If our higher power wants us to get this house, we will, it's out of our hands." It helps with the stress, but he still looks a little strung out over it too.
I guess this is what a healthy life looks like. Yesterday, my computer geek partner made a concept map (kind of a flow chart) of all the things stressing him out about this! I chose the low tech way and cried for a while, feeling completely overwhelmed and ashamed of how incompetent I felt, and then got on with life: Community choir rehearsal, made a roast beast dinner for us and Fuzz's folks, packed a couple more boxes last night with one eye on the Law & Order CI season ender. I just did ---what do they call it in 12 step circles? --- oh yeah, "the next right thing". Speaking of which, I think I can sleep now. Oh joy, one whole hour before the alarm goes off!
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