I was worried about my food yesterday. Illness + travel + holiday = @#$%^&*! I managed to pull it back together for Christmas but the day after was a more social day spent with Fuzz' family and then a visit to my best friend and her family. I love her, I've known her for over 25 years, I dream about living next to her, but she's a food pusher; you know, one of those people who likes to feed you. She's a good hostess but there are times I feel ovewhelmed by this. Mind you, there were many times over the years when I was really into the food and constantly grazing around her cupboards and fridge for the next bite. Feel uncomfortable or bored? Eat sumthin'! Interestingly enough, we both have/had alcoholic fathers. Hers dried out, mine mostly did, went crazy and then died.
Anyway, I was worried. Boredom and nervousness often drove me to the food at the Outlaws. I had an OA meeting scheduled for that morning, but it didn't dawn until the end of the meeting that I was worried about the food. So I told someone. She didn't say much, but listened sympathetically, and as often happens, just airing my concern, getting it out of that maelstrom in my head, made it feel more manageable. I told Fuzzboy afterwards too, not so that he would stop me; I just wanted him know what I was going through and I knew that he knew. I get so damn bored at their place. It's kind of like that New Yorker cartoon about whether or not we have anything in common with people in the red states... well... we're both carbon based life forms, but that's about it... Anyway, I survived. Dammit, I actually thrived. Ate appropriate amounts at the outlaws, ate nothing (save a couple of cups of coffee) at my friend's. Wasn't even offered anything, partly because she was involved in a big family argument with her belligerent drunken brother. Times like that I'm glad I'm not drinking now.
I went home drained but happy. It actually worked. Yeah, I'm amazed too.
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