TV is Weird (still...)

I'm still sick, and I'm missing the family Christmas get together @ Fuzzboy's parents because I want to get better and not give everyone a virus for Christmas. So he has gone on without me, with my blessings and presents. You know, it's a bit of relief. I can't figure out Fuzz's family. They live for Hockey, Redneck TV, the men love hunting, and the women are interested in those strange miniature Santa's Villages and wear sweaters embroidered with flowers or snowmen or cutesy animals --- I love cutesy animals, but the real thing, not on my clothes unless it's a cat shedding all over my lap --- and so maybe they inhabit yet another planet I am utterly unfamiliar with. Christmas gifts are pretty stressful because I have no idea what they would like. The most success I ever had was when I could find the blandest most uninteresting gift I would not want to receive and then buy that. But it's so contrary to my instincts that I invariably backslide and start to look for presents I would like.

In fact, I'm worse at figuring out what the women want more than the men. This bug at least takes me out of the stress of faking excitement over what we receive and watching to see how much they are mystified by what we gave them. Actually, I do kind of miss it. After 20 years of marriage, even the wierdest things start to feel like tradition. And I do like them, as much as I don't understand them. I'll give them a call in an hour once they've finished stuffing themself with stodge...

So, I'm on the couch in my fleece robe with the teddy bears on it, but I haven't seen Saturday tv in a while. I'm usually out of the house on Saturday; I have a regular Overeaters Anonymous meeting and then we usually have lunch and go to the gym, shop, that sort of thing. I'm amazed. The tv choices are, well, awful. Even awfuller than I expected:

There should be an old movie on soon, but right now my best bets seem to be between the cooking show on pbs --- Whoo hoo, I'm really riveted to "The Perfect Poached Egg"... Ok, on to The Insider focus on Plastic Surgery, including the obligatory Gone Wrong saga. What, no celebrity plastic surgery gone wrong? Hello, Joan Rivers, tell the world about the misguided doctor who took in your nose one two many times! Figures that the two shows I find somewhat interesting deal with a) food and b) distorted body image. Just like the deranged cover stories on the front of most "women's magazines"...

Oohhh, weather trivia on the Weather Channel... on to the Discovery Channel for a fascinating feature on how mushrooms are grown!!! Oh my Lord, it's the Brady Bunch Christmas Reunion!!! Circa 1985, Florence Henderson in shoulder pads Wayne Gretzky would love, and there's Robert Reed in a jogging outfit obviously picked out by the Village People! I swear, I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP!!! My brain hurts...more coffee, kaff kaff, my dilithium crystals are definitely melting down...