Damn Binge Lists

When I started going to Overeaters Anonymous, I started hearing about "Binge Foods", "Binge Lists" "Red Light/Yellow Light Foods"...

I was pretty suspicious of these. One of the first people I met in OA was a guy running a meeting on the Upper East Side in NYC. He had a binge list as long as your arm. He had lost a lot of weight. However, he admitted he had gained half of it back, a fact that his straining pants attested. And his binge list kept getting longer. I figured he'd be down to water and grapefruit soon. He was loud, and definite, and kind of scary. He told me to call him, I didn't.

When I came to OA in Canada, I remained suspicious of binge lists. They aren't a requirement in OA, nothing is. The traditions state that "the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop eating compulsively". How we do it is up to us, but we can look to others in the program for guidance. So, for almost 3 years I didn't have a binge list. Mind you, I noticed after a while that there were foods I would eat if offered when out, but didn't feel safe keeping in the house --- most desserts, and salty, crunchy snacky stuff. Then there was the granola. Too easy to scarf down by the handful while standing in front of the cupboard. Got that out of the house, started getting all that good stuff in cooked oatmeal (I make a KILLER steel cut oats with fruit, nuts and spices) and haven't had any since because one does not usually encounter granola at a party!

Then, sometime in November, I realized that when I had potato chips at parties, I kind of lost my mind to them. The rest of the room vanished as my focus slid into the chip bowl. Didn't like that. Ok, I decided, maybe for now, I don't want to eat chips. I did this at a few parties, and I felt better. Then there was that flap the other day over the toffee chocolates. I decided that cheap sugar loaded candy and the cravings it aroused just wasn't worth the grief. Good dark chocolate, probably because it contains much less sugar, doesn't seem to be a problem.

So.... I guess --- sigh --- I do now have a binge list: cheap candy and chips. We'll see how it goes. For today. One day at a time. That's what makes it work: for today I can do what I can't imagine myself doing forever. No fortune telling.