Better

Today is better, thankfully. My brain is still full of junk, old tapes playing, I think, but I'm remembering that someone in that %$#@ recovery group saying that it usually took her a full day just to recover from that session, so I need to take it easy on myself.

So I am. My abdomen hurts too so I'm staying in bed as much as possible. Almost 5 weeks after the surgery and it's one or two good days and then the body says, not quite yet, chickie. The progress is miniscule but definitely measurable.

And what better way to nurture myself but with FOOD! The irony is exquisite, isn't it? At least this is through cooking something healthy rather than bingeing.

I made a big pot of chicken stock on Sunday and today a good pot of vegetable soup for me and Fuzz. A British friend calls it (ok, imagine a plummy London accent here) "Fridge Bottom Soup" because that's what it is --- a bit of everything from the veg crispers: celery, carrot, rutabaga, mushrooms, spinach, and garlic, of course. I had some leftover macaroni with stewed tomatoes and I threw that in too. It still lacked a little something so I tried some smoked paprika, some ancho chile, oregano, and fresh thyme from the pot in the window... hmmm... still not quite there. A flash of inspiration: a couple of lumps of pesto frozen from September. Ahhh... finally it isn't just a pot of vegetables floating in broth, but soup.

I'm still resisting meditation and any more journaling than you see here. I guess I have to get more miserable first, perhaps.

OK, I've got to get dressed. Fuzz is going running with our running group tonight and I'm going to hit an OA meeting because, hopefully, and it's a strong likelihood that it will help me feel better.