I think I may need to check my blood pressure --- my head is spinning and I've got this headache that comes and goes. Yesterday I thought it was due to the stress of my final appt with the addictions doc, but it's back now. It could be emotions, fluctuating hormones in the wake of the hysterectomy, or the latest virus making its rounds as the Canadian winter mercifully retreats.
I also could be overstimulated from the OA meeting I just came from. It was a 3rd anniversary celebration and there were a number of speakers. I'm a little freaked because I'm officially celebrating a year of abstinence a week from today, and I've got party anxiety. At least I scheduled it for April 1st --- that lightens it up a bit!
To make my state of mind worse, right after the meeting I went to meet Fuzz and seated with him was someone from my group whom I like but who is, as another friend said, like a big puppy: You love and admire all her energy and enthusiasm, but after a short while you're exhausted, have a strong urge to kick her, and ya just need a rest! What I wish I could have said was, "Hon, I'm worn out and I need a quiet lunch with Fuzz" But I didn't and afterwards I think I compounded the buzzing by browsing the housing listings in the paper making me more anxious (oh how the hell are we going to clean and sell and buy and move and oh my) and voila, a seething case of busybrain!
So Fuzz has left me at the Starbucks and gone for a run. I could have gone for a walk, but writing this, I find this is giving me vent for the "should"s floating around behind the fevered brow. That's why this is a blog and not a column: it's more therapy than journalism! Time for more writing, but the freeform stuff best done offline with no inhibitions... Contrary to appearances, I do edit here! If I discover anything interesting I'll let you know.
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