I skipped out on my group therapy session again today. For the second week in a row I got as far as the parking garage, and instead of heading west into the hospital for the meeting, I headed east to the Starbucks. Actually, this time I was prepared: I had my laptop and a manual for the Painter program I'm yet again trying to learn, this time with more success, probably because I'm trying to do something specific with it, and this time it's more trial, less error. Or at least it was today. Tomorrow it could be the opposite... Rather than two hours listening to people's issues, I spent the time sketching on my pen tablet, exploring grains and scratchboard rakes and (digital) electronic pens. And drinking cinnamon scented coffee.
Anyway, I didn't feel a big urge to go to the meeting. And, I'm wondering if I really want to go anymore, period. The main reason I didn't want to go this morning was I already had a meeting with my sponsee scheduled for the afternoon, and I felt like I wanted to get some of my work done first. I get to two Overeaters Anonymous meetings a week, I see or talk to my sponsor, I have a sponsee and I have a weekly therapist appointment. So, really, I'm working my programme. And I write on a daily basis, here, and privately.
Since I did some work this morning, I was able to make a lunch date with BF, after which I phoned Fuzz and arranged a rendezvous to go snowshoeing before dinner. This has been a great winter, we have so much snow that reminds me of my childhood in New Brunswick. Today was one of the first really sunny days in a while, and it was getting cold but not too windy, lots of fresh powder, and very few people at the park.
It was a wonderful day. I'll have to call someone from the group and tell them I don't think I'm coming back, but I don't think it's such a bad thing. Unlike a couple of years ago, I don't think I'm running away from something, I think it's just there are other things I would rather run toward.
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